Tag: inspirational

I recently cleaned out two old laptops of mine. By recently, I mean just a couple minutes before sitting down to write this blog. Cleaning out old computers is an interesting process. If you don’t throw them away, computers unintentionally act as time capsules, each a snow globe to a certain period of your life.

There wasn’t anything interesting on my previous computer. It was replaced recently, in the form of a Christmas present that I’m writing on now. The change between computers was too recent to have any impact. The person who used my old computer is basically the same person writing on this one, save a few mental breakdowns from writing 20-page college essays.

My older computer, however, is a gold mine. I abandoned this one 5 years ago. I was a different person 5 years ago. I received this computer as a freshman in high school. I used it for 5 years. It has files and documents as old as 10 years. I couldn’t call myself a real person 10 years ago. More of a fetus. I was excited to discover what 14-year-old Jason was interested in.

I did not expect to go on such a bittersweet journey.

I first noticed the old computer games I used to play. Games like Kerbal Space Program, The Escapists, and Outlast. Each game with their own memories attached. Memories of different friends that introduced me to them.

A college buddy introduced me to Kerbal Space Program. He was obsessed with rocket science and science fiction. He fueled my current obsession with science fiction. He was fun to talk to. He had these fantastical ideas about space and the cosmos. I miss him.

A high school friend introduced me to The Escapists and the wonders of pixel art video games. Games like Undertale and Lisa. Games I’m currently obsessed with (Games for another blog). He was a good friend. He was always there for me in high school. I miss him.

Finally, Outlast was a horror game that a group of friends watched me play my freshmen year of college. A friend in my dorm said she was a fan of horror movies. I was a fan of horror movies. I asked her about horror games. She said she was too scared to play horror games. She said she could probably watch me play. She said it would be like watching a horror movie. She gave me money to pay for a game she found interesting. More people liked the idea. They joined in to watch. Every weekend for several weeks, a crowd of people huddled in my room and watched me play Outlast. We called it “Outlast night.” When we finished the game, that same friend told me there was a sequel coming out. She was willing to pay for that game too. She loved our “Outlast nights.”

We never played the sequel. That friend transferred schools a year later. Or did she graduate early? I can’t remember. I haven’t seen her since. She was kind and generous. She was incredibly smart. I miss her.

While remembering these games, I found my old emulators on my computer. I got into emulating games in high school, almost 8 years ago. For those who don’t know, an emulator is computer hardware or software (software in this case) that allows a computer to behave like another computer. You could use emulators to make your computer behave like a video game console. In high school, my friends and I used emulators to play old video games. We could download a game boy emulator that allowed us to play games like Pokémon, or a game cube emulator to play games like Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I even downloaded an emulator called DosBox, which allowed me to play games from the 80s and 90s like The Ancient Art of War and Oregon Trail (God, I loved Oregon Trail.)

For those who know what emulators are, know that I was clueless. I had no idea how any of it worked and when there was a problem, I rarely fixed it. But I thought it was cool. I enjoyed setting up the emulators more than I enjoyed playing the games. It made me feel like I was hacking into a non-descript “main frame” and downloading an “external hard drive” to steal the confidential government files and save the world. In reality, I was following YouTube tutorials so I could attempt to travel to Oregon only to read, yet again, that one of my party members died of dysentery.

Emulators were fun. It was a niche of the internet that I embraced.

I was reminded of another niche when I found my old maps on my computer. Let me explain what I mean by first detailing this discovery.

I was looking through old Word documents, trying to save my favorite writings from college, when I found files with strange, almost foreign sounding names. These names will mean nothing to you, but I will list them to show you how utterly baffled I was. There are seven files and they’re named as follows: “Aenun,” “Euvan,” “Malbohren,” “Narslem,” “Rohkbar, Laesolen, Shok,” “Sindra’viir,” “Vohkniir, Wilshiir, Dalfiir.” You could imagine my confusion.

I saw that each document had the file name “AuRx.” Memories started to flood. Reading this file name, I remembered the name “Auto Realm.” It was the name of the program I used to build maps. It was the name of the program I downloaded from the cartographer’s guild.

Here’s an excerpt from the welcome page on the cartographer’s guild’s website:

The Cartographers’ Guild is a forum created by and for map makers and aficionados, a place where every aspect of cartography can be admired, examined, learned, and discussed. Our membership consists of professional designers and artists, hobbyists, and amateurs—all are welcome to join and participate in the quest for cartographic skill and knowledge.

Although we specialize in maps of fictional realms, as commonly used in both novels and games (both tabletop and role-playing), many Guild members are also proficient in historical and contemporary maps. Likewise, we specialize in computer-assisted cartography (such as with GIMP, Adobe apps, Campaign Cartographer, Dundjinni, etc.), although many members here also have interest in maps drafted by hand.

Cartographer’s Guild Welcome Page

This excerpt is from their current welcome page. I guess they don’t use “Auto Realm” anymore. It was very hard to use from what I remember.

I joined the cartographer’s guild because, well, I was writing a story in high school. I never told anyone about this story. Up until now, I completely forgot about this story.

This story had a world. A world with continents and countries and cities. A world with factions and guilds. A world with heroes and villains. And this world needed a map. In high school, I found the cartographer’s guild. I was inspired by the beautiful maps posted on this forum and started building my own. They were terrible and I never posted them on the forum. When I opened these files, however, I was transported to the world that high school Jason created. I haven’t thought about this world in over 8 years.

Opening these maps and remembering their stories is a metaphor literalized. Each file on my old computer is a map in its own way. A map that shows the origin of who I am today.

These files on my old computer show the birth of my current interests. More specifically video games, tabletop role playing games, and above all story telling. All topics for another blog.

I’m not sure what this post is meant to say or what the metaphor means. I guess these old computers showed me that my interests are not my own. I didn’t come up with them by myself. They were inspired by other people. And these people were special to me. I cared about them.

My interests are communal, as with everyone’s interests. Each interest, profession, or hobby has a respective community.

It’s important to remember where you come from in order to know where you’re going. It’s important to remember who or what inspired you.

What’s most important, is to remember why you were so inspired.

I was lucky enough to be given a literal map.