…on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Torpedoes of the sea. Whistling water cows. Qualified members of the U.S. Navy.
Dolphins are pretty special.
They’re smart. They’re friendly. They have their own language.
Did you know they’re really good at napping?
Dolphins can’t sleep because they can’t breathe under water.
They’re mammals.
Instead of sleeping, they shut off half their brain for 15 to 20 minutes at a time.
They rest one hemisphere of their brain several times a day while the other hemisphere swims, eats, breathes, and watches for predators.
They’re the best nappers ever because they can multitask.
Legendary.
They don’t have time for sleep.
While you waste 8 hours a day as a useless, snoring lump in your bed, dolphins are staying productive 24/7.
“Dude, I can do my taxes while taking a nap. What’s good?”
That was a dolphin making fun of you for sleeping. I assume they do taxes. What else would they do with all that extra time on their fins?
Dolphins also have their own language that consists of clicks and whistles.
Scientists discovered that dolphins name each other with specific clicks and whistles.
“Yo Click Whistle Click Click! What’s good?”
That was a dolphin running into his dolphin friend Click Whistle Click Click. I like to imagine they did a cool handshake after.
I’m not sure why my dolphin character assumed the role of an overconfident dude bro.
After reading about dolphins, I imagine them as a bunch of Fonzies now.
Dolphin clicks and whistles also double as sonar. They use echolocation to locate prey and predators.
“Oh, it took you 1 million years to invent radar? That came with the body, pal. What a loser.”
That was a dolphin calling you a loser because you don’t have a radar system built into your body.
He’s kinda mean. Sorry about that.
A dolphin’s skin regenerates every two hours. Scientists believe this is used to reduce drag while swimming. This also allows them to heal at an insane speed.
Dolphins are basically Wolverine from X-Men.
“Oh, you got a little booboo. Do you need to put a band aid on it so it can hea-“
We get it ok!
You’re better than us!
Geez!
Dolphins, am I right?
Dolphins are also so smart that the U.S. Military has been using them to find enemy swimmers, locate underwater mines, and guard nuclear arsenals.
“General Click Whistle Click Click, reporting for duty.”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy might have been right.
Dolphins might be smarter than us.
Which explains their annoying, cocky attitude.
In Hitchhiker’s, the dolphins eventually leave earth, leaving behind an arrogant message.
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
The hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy
Dolphins are jerks, man.